Saving Your Marriage3 min read

I am sure we all know the unfortunate story of Joseph. Not that Joseph, I mean the other Joseph, the one who had to live down with the embarrassment of his fiance pregnant with a baby that wasn’t his and live married with her happily ever after

We typically just run over his story because Mary’s story is more dramatic – she was touched by an angel. Can you imagine Joseph position? Everyone knew of their engagement and what date they were married. Just a few months into the marriage, Mary bulge is noticeable and I am sure some neighbors did maths sessions on the couple.

Picture conversations like this “Hmm, they were married just 3 months ago. There is no way that bulge can be 3 months old. I always thought that Mary was a good girl. That Joseph must be a fool. Mary has given him another man’s child. I am sure I would not accept that sort of situation. If I was him, I would have thrown her out. She must have hexed or put a spell on him for him to not say a word.”

In truth, Joseph did notice and he did know the baby was not his. But he showed a sense of godliness that most of us are so unfamiliar with. He let his faith save his marriage. We are used to letting our faith serve our church and save some hapless unbeliever out there.

Saving Your Marriage

Joseph came to the point where his personal ideal came in conflict with his faith. He would have looked good to everyone if he went with his ideal. Really, there was no logic to go with the conflict of his faith. Up until then, no one had heard of anyone actually achieving immaculate conception. Sure it was in the book Isaiah but really who was going to believe it.

But he went with his faith – this saved Mary from a great deal of embarrassment and it saved their marriage. It didn’t remove the place they would occupy in the gossip column for a while. Joseph showed that when it mattered, he was really willing to submit his leadership of the home under God.

Marriages are destroyed not by one big wrong decision but a culmination of so many wrong turns. It hurts me when I hear of couples at war. Some of them even have a high reputation for being godly in the church.

I know the little foxes that break a marriage are so many but I bet that if we can choose to let go of some of our personal ideals for God’s sake, a number of marriages would still be standing.

To be honest, some of these personal ideals have logic. For example, when Sarah told Abraham to send Hagar & Ishmael out of the house. It hurt Abraham because he wanted his son to stay under his roof.

To his surprise, God told him to go with what Sarah said. It must have really hurt. But the good part of the story is that God made sure things turned out well for them after they left the comfort of Abraham’s house.

And you know, this lesson is something I am still learning to live out in my marriage – God knows I can be stubborn when it comes to some things. But I have committed myself to saving my marriage everyday.

So let’s be ready to let some of our personal ideals die at God’s altar because we might just be saving our marriages. And don’t worry, God will always make sure that things turn out for His praise when you give up your personal ideal for His sake.

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Tola Akinsulire

A married guy with a precocious son who works his (I mean me, not my son - I bet you know, right?) day job as a financial guy trying to make real estate projects have some sense to the investor. I like to talk about what I learn along the way as I live my faith in life (family, work, friendships, fellowship, community and anything else you can put here).

  • Ayodeji Okewumi says:

    Love it. Learned from it. Will adopt it. Many thanks Tola!

  • Tobi says:

    Thanks for this piece

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