When Family Is Not First2 min read

Do you sometimes feel guilty that you are committing more time to church events or activities rather than members of your family and close friends?

I was talking to a pastor’s wife who was expressing her frustration at spending so much time in church related programs that she had missed significant events by family and friends. At the time we spoke, she was carrying the hurt of missing the wedding of her chief bridesmaid. The lady had been a bastion of support during her wedding. I think a part of her was asking, is this really worth it?

When Family Is Not FirstA lot of people live under the weight of expectations at church, home and social circles. Some couples complain about losing their spouses to church activities during weekends. The oft used excuse is that of been busy doing something that matters.

But it pays to build our lives on principles rather than demands. Principles help to reduce conflicts but not eliminate them. Principles help to define our outlook to life and make our choices easier to make. Let me share some thoughts to help you in setting your principles.

  1. Your family should never compete to be first place to any commitment you have. Your family should be your first commitment.
  2. Succeed at home and you have the strongest platform to stand on.
  3. Service to humanity or church organisation does not always mean service to God.
  4. Sometimes the best way to serve God is to cancel all activities and sit at home with your family.
  5. Jesus made time to attend a wedding and dinners – you have to learn to do that too.

In all, life is meant to be lived in harmony. Most commitments that distort the harmony of family are probably not really as important as we think they are. Are you finding the right chord to play your life harmony? Please take time to share a thought below

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Tola Akinsulire

A married guy with a precocious son who works his (I mean me, not my son - I bet you know, right?) day job as a financial guy trying to make real estate projects have some sense to the investor. I like to talk about what I learn along the way as I live my faith in life (family, work, friendships, fellowship, community and anything else you can put here).

  • Absolutely Correct. Family is definitely our first commitment. Thanks for sharing.

  • Hmmm, very thoughtful! thanks!

    Family is like a ball made of glass that must not be dropped because if dropped, would be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
    – Bryan Dyson, former CEO of Coca Cola

  • Olayide says:

    After all said and done, it is family that stay back to share whatever pain in full, they bare the brunt… the rest of the world including the church will be quick to share the gains and probably part of the pain

  • Ejaeta Harry Doghor says:

    ……This is an inner struggle I think every believer who loves the Lord probably go through. I’ve hard my share of this inner struggle and had to somewhat slow down with activities per se, to make more time for family. And guilt on the other hand whether one is actually giving His all in service to Him. However, the balance in this deep in our hearts that the family is key in God’s strategy in His work on earth would help us with understanding that a well nourished one with the wealth of adjoining relationships, is a good measure of our performance, somewhat, and a solid platform from which to serve the Lord in whatever capacity.God bless you for this post……..

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