Why I Need People Who Keep Me Accountable4 min read
Tola’s Thoughts On Faith & Life
I just watched the interview by Priscilla Shirer (daughter of Tony Evans and main lead in the movie War Room) with Bob and Audrey Meisner.
After 17 years of marriage and a seemingly idyllic marriage admired by others but internally suffering from poor communication and a lack of communication, Audrey had an affair with a man from their church and was pregnant with his child.
By the way, they were pastoring a church.
When Audrey first told Bob about the affair, the first thing that came into his mind was – “we need to call a committee to address the matter”.
According to Bob, his mind went like – “I have to tell people, people need to come into this to address the matter”.
Well, fortunately, the first person (his pastor and mentor) he called to tell asked him – “have you told anyone else?.” To which he responded “No.”
He immediately said “good, don’t tell anyone else”
Later on, Bob and Audrey both got on the phone to talk with him.
During the conversation, Bob said he was expecting him to do a bit of “shaming” his wife. To ask questions like “why did you do this or how could you do this?”
Instead, he was throwing a challenge to Bob that he needed to cover his wife. He reminded
Bob that God never shamed him anytime he sins and repents – he needed to do that to his wife.
Bob said he was looking for sympathy and someone to just feel sorry for him – he got none of that. He got something that took him more to God.
Days later, while walking with his pastor & Audrey, a thought hits Bob like a lighting bolt “what do I do if as a result of the affair, Audrey gets pregnant from this”.
He had had vasectomy so he knew he could not be the father. He asked his pastor and before he could even finish asking the question, the pastor replied without hesitation – “Bob, His grace will be more than enough for you”
That was a bitter pill to swallow but God really touched him.
As it turned out – she was pregnant. And the baby would come out as bi-racial (they are a white couple and her affair was with a African-American).
Bob had to discover what it meant to cover his wife. it was not all peaches – as he admits sometimes he acted to his wife in a way that showed he was still hurting. But he pulled through.
They resigned from the church they were at and relocated to a new city. It was at this point that they told their three kids aged ten, thirteen & fifteen. By that time, Audrey was 4 months pregnant and her thirteen year old daughter is concerned – “mummy is putting on weight”.
They had the boy. At some point, a couple of people even recommended that he give the boy out for adoption to remove future questions of why a non-Caucasian was born into a family of Caucasians
Again he turned to his mentor for advice on this matter. In responding, he looked him in the eye and said “Bob, there is a baby on your doorstep, what do you do? Will you participate with this fatherless generation or will you become a father to the fatherless? Bob, you’ve got to grow up.”
Bob learnt to cover his wife and he called the boy “my son” from the day he was born.
It all started with him having the right person to hold him accountable to make the right decisions even in the midst of his hurt.
People that keep me accountable can help me become the best of who God want me to be.
I need more of those people in my life
The Chat with Priscilla – Love Married Life (Part One) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWzX55UiRcA
The Chat with Priscilla – Love Married Life (Part Two) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYJRmQKD4TA